This lands on my desk, all the time…
Jane
What do you mean you’re leaving for six months? What about work? What about us?
Marco
I don’t have a choice.
Jane
How can Amanda make you go when you’re sick?
Marco
Someone has to go and I’m not that sick.
Jane
I saw the video of you fainting. It scared me. You shouldn’t be going anywhere.
Marco
I feel fine. I’m more worried for Norobi. Besides, the Doctor only said to get more rest.
Jane
I can get some answers later tonight while everyone’s at graduation. It’ll be easy to see your medical records once the computer lab is empty.
Marco
If I wanted to know more I could hack my own files and besides you can only access student medical records from the council room.
Dialogue that lacks all characterization.
Dialogue where the writer imposes their voice, a generic voice, onto the entire cast, because their too close to material, focused on plot.
Ultimately, dialogue like the above example, isn’t really dialogue at all, it’s conversation. And to be avoided at all costs by the skilled writer.
You’ve probably heard it a million times, you should be able to recognize who’s talking during an exchange, by the dialogue alone. If we stripped out the character titles in the above dialogue exchange, it would all run together. You’d be totally lost as to who’s saying what, because it all SOUNDS the same.
I’ve spoken about characterization elsewhere, so I’m not here to give you the fundamentals on it… but instead here today to remind you of something very specific…
the old adage;
Actions speak louder than words.
Newer writers often forget that the best characterization doesn’t arrive in the dialogue at all, but in the actions surrounding the dialogue. This is perhaps more true in comics, than any other medium of fiction.
Coincidentally, it’s also yet another reason why talking heads suck in comics… but I digress.
Let’s add a little action to the above exchange and see if we can’t develop some characterization…
Jane
// Crying, while turning her back to Marco. Her head, retreating into her body. //
What do you mean you’re leaving for six months? What about work? What about us?
Jane is demure and lacks confidence. She’s obviously highly emotionally attached to Marco and maybe, just highly emotional.
Jane
// Throwing up her hand to the side of Marco’s face, her brow folded in a scowl. //
What do you mean you’re leaving for six months? What about work? What about us?
Jane is Italian.
Jane
// Jane wraps herself around Marco as if she’s his wet t-shirt. Her eyes are shut tight as if in extreme pain. //
What do you mean you’re leaving for six months? What about work? What about us?
Jane is in a serious relationship with Marco. She’s clingy and draws much of her self worth from her significant other.
Jane
// Jane lights up a cigarette, her head tilted down while her eyes peak out of the corners toward Marco. She’s got the deadpan look of a t-1000 terminator. //
What do you mean you’re leaving for six months? What about work? What about us?
Jane has a gun and was voted most likely to commit murder suicide in high school.
I’m just doing one panel for the sake of space in this article… and of course I’m making big contextual leaps, because we’re only working with 1 panel and don’t have the full story for reference…
But, using each of these “personalities” defined by Jane’s actions in each case, how could you further develop and express Jane’s personality on the remaining showcased panels? Nice little exercise if you care to take the time.
Generic Vs. Specific Characterizing
Fact of the matter is, the examples I just gave were all generic characterizations.
People act in accordance to their personality… and they develop comfortable patterns.
These specific characterization actions are the ones you really want to discover and use.
Quick example, maybe you have a character who always snaps his fingers whenever he gets excited. That’s a personality quirk unique to him, because most people don’t do that.
Keep in mind, that snapping one’s fingers isn’t too revealing, or potent as a characterization trait.
When you’re developing your character’s personality, look for habits and quirks, that really hone in on who the character is. You want readers to instantly recognize when they take place AND what they mean.
As a quick example, maybe you have a sexual predator villain. Maybe he stares a lot and licks his lips. I think most folks would recognize that as a pretty pervy thing to do, especially when they see a couple of examples of it in context. Or, how about a dude who’s always gently caressing his own face. I’m sure I’ve seen some deranged, psycho dude do that in more than one movie. So yeah, any character stroking their own face, folks are gonna immediately put him in the psycho/weirdo category.
Ok, Ok, let’s do a couple of Marco too…
Marco
I don’t have a choice.
So this is one of the problems with on-the-nose, “empty,” low narrative drive dialogue. It’s just hard to do anything with it.
And even when you scrape something out of it, it’s really not particularly effective…
When you find yourself struggling to characterize a piece of dialogue, it’s a really good red flag, that your dialogue is weak and unimportant. Remember, remember, remember, the 5th of November… then remember that every bit of a comic is a highlight reel, the best of the best, it’s all there with specific, deliberate intent.
Marco
// Marco closes his eyes and rubs the bridge of his nose. //
I don’t have a choice.
There’s not to much to say about Marco’s character here, but we can pick up that he’s stressed. The decision he’s made seems to be weighing heavily on him.
Marco
// Marco grabs Jane by both shoulders, staring deep into her eyes. //
I don’t have a choice.
Well there’s something, he’s moved by the situation. Either he’s a dramatic dude in general, or he’s got real feelings for Jane.
Notice this might not be a valid take, if Marco actually doesn’t have feelings for Jane. Visualizing comic panels the WRONG way can seriously mess up a narrative.
Marco
// Marco waves his hand in the air as he strolls away, his lips pursed. //
I feel fine. I’m more worried for Norobi. Besides, the Doctor only said to get more rest.
Again, the dialogue is so weak, it’s difficult to support it visually. We can surmise that Marco isn’t too interested in Jane. Or maybe, he’s indifferent to everything in life.
Marco
// Let’s split this one in two panels. 1) Close up of Marco’s hand trembling. 2) Marco grabs onto his trembling hand, trying to smother the issue and says: //
I feel fine. I’m more worried for Norobi. Besides, the Doctor only said to get more rest.
Granted this moving a bit further away from general character action characterization and more into actual storytelling, but it can be and often is, a fine line to cross–which by itself speaks to the power of characterizing through action. Here the visuals set up that Marco is NOT fine. This highlights that he’s putting the concerns of others above his own. Perhaps he has feelings for Jane that he doesn’t want to reveal, or perhaps, he has feelings for Norobi, that are much more important to him than his own health.
Which leads us to a final big point…
Always remember, we’ve covered it before, but at the risk of repeating myself…
People wear masks. Intentional masks, to appear in a manner they want to project… and unintentional masks (or lack of a mask), to appear in a way they really are… or at least, really are acting.
This concept is really important in dialogue itself… but also in characterizing dialogue, specifically through action.
I remember one time when I was young, I was standing outside a taco shop at 2am in the East Village, some dude came up to me and started verbally attacking me. He might have been a bit drunk, I don’t remember.
I do remember I happen to be holding my friends cigarette who was inside buying tacos. I remember taking a drag on it and looking away as I responded to this guy, it went something like this. // Notice my actions for the set up. //
Rando
Dude, I’m going to fuck you up. I need to fuck somebody up, right now.
Me
Nah, man. I don’t think you want to do that.
Rando
Come on, bro. You think you can take me in a fight?
Me
I’m not a fighter. I don’t like to hurt people, or get hurt.
Rando
Yeah whatever, shithead. Who do you think you are?
Me
Nobody, bro. Nobody.
The dude got frustrated I wasn’t engaging him or showing fear and just moved off with some hisses and cursing under his breath.
So the question is, what mask was I wearing?
Was I projecting a calm, cool cucumber, not worried about handling some rando asshole on the street.
Was I really nervous and worried, or had I taken my mask off for the night?
True story by the way.
Always remember the duality that exists between who people are and the image they think they are. And of course, the fact that sometimes both sides of that duality don’t read or come across right.
Just felt like coming back and reworking the sample (without action), just for voice, what do you guys think? ▪
Are you serious, what do you mean you’re leaving for six months? What about work? What about us?
Look at this fuckin’ girl, like I have a choice.
No, seriously. This is crazy. How can Amanda make you go when you’re sick? How?
You call this sick? This ain’t sick.
I saw the video. You fainted! I almost fainted watching it. Really, you shouldn’t be going anywhere.
I’m fine. The doctor even said to just take it easy. If you wana worry about someone, worry about Norobi.
Do you seriously, not care? Whatever, I’ll get my own answers later tonight. While everyone’s at graduation I’ll just get your medical records from the computer lab.
You a big time hacker now, huh? If I wanted to know more, I’d already know more… besides, hacker-girl, you can only access student medical records from the council room. You gotta plan b?
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Nick Macari is a full-time freelance story consultant, developmental editor and writer, working primarily in the independent gaming and comic markets. His first published comic appeared on shelves via Diamond in the late 90’s. Today you can find his comic work on comixology, Amazon, and in select stores around the U.S.